mentalcase

Ridiculous things I’ve done to try not to be depressed

#2. Watch sad stuff and cry

I used to enjoy watching something sad and having a good therapeutic weep. I’ve talked about it on here before. When I first got depressed, the most noticeable symptom (because I didn’t know what was happening; I didn’t know I was depressed for a long time and I didn’t accept it for even longer) was incessant crying, sometimes for hours on end. Because my main experience of crying was a good weep over a bit of misery porn such as Grey’s Anatomy, I interpreted this new crying as cathartic and decided I must need to do it, that there must be something inside that needed to get the tears out. Maybe then I’d stop feeling inadequate and uncomfortable and frightened.

So I watched anything that might make me cry. I listened to sad music, I read tragic news stories, I read sad books.

And I wept. I didn’t feel any better but I kept at it, thinking that it was better to get it all out. It took a long time to realise that there was too much in there.

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