My therapist got impatient with me. I’m resistant, I’m stubborn and it’s not working. We both know what and we both keep battling on regardless, me to prove that I’m trying and her… well, I’m not sure why. Professional pride? £55 a session? An equally large stubborn streak?
She told me I didn’t want to get better. She couldn’t be much farther from the truth. Of course I want to get better. This is not the person I identify with. I don’t know how anyone could want to be like this.
So, I want to get better. Undoubtedly. But there’s a fear attached to that. The fear of the relapse. Because I don’t think I could do this again.
Perhaps that’s what the therapist is picking up on. Or maybe, as I’ve suspected all along, she just doesn’t know what she’s talking about any more than I do.