Here are things I wish people would say to me:
- Hey, sorry you feel like shit. Want to talk?
- I’m going to ask you how you are and you can tell me as much or as little as you want. I’m going to do this often.
- I’m going to tell you if I’m having a bad day too and I’ll ask your advice.
- Come and visit me. No pressure. We can go out or we can sit on the sofa all day and watch crap and eat crap. We can talk and talk or say nothing. I don’t mind, it would just be good to see you.
- You can stay in bed and cry if you want, but I’ll sit with you.
- Want a hug?
- I don’t like you any less because you’re struggling at the moment.
- How can I help? It’s OK if you don’t know. I’ll keep trying. I’ll do my best not to judge.
- I’m going to come and see you. There is no pressure. You don’t have to entertain me. We can do as much or as little as you want. I might make some suggestions but really it’s you I’ve come to see.
- I want to help you get better. I know you can. I’ll keep trying.
- Hey! How are things?
- I miss chatting, I miss you.
- I don’t mind if you cry.
- I’ve got ice-cream, wine and a funny film. I’m coming round. Prepare a comfy place to sit/lie!
- Do you need someone to come with you to the doctor/therapist?
- I’m coming with you to the doctor/therapist. After, we’ll eat cake and get a drink 🙂
- Let’s go for a walk in the country! Just me and you.
And what I want to say:
- Please be patient with me. I know my actions are scary and weird sometimes, I know I’m no fun to be around but I wasn’t always like this and if I know you can remember who I was before and believe I can be that again, maybe I can to. Please don’t leave me to fight this on my own (even if I might give off signs that suggest I’d like you to).
- Please help me (even if I tell you I don’t need help).
- I’d really like a hug. I’d like that more than anything (even if it seems like I don’t).
- I’m paranoid no one likes me/wants me anymore. Most of the time, I completely believe this to be true.
- I’m really, really lonely.
- I’m scared.